Baby Katie in early 2015. Twenty-seven.This photo was taken during my first week living in Bali. Completely heartbroken, shattered and fragile... in the midst of running away from myself, my problems and nagging self-doubt and apathy, instead of facing myself with compassion and love. And boy did Bali teach me, in no uncertain terms, how to face my shit! There’s no greater place to be present for an immersion in your own darkness, as well to illuminate so much inherent light and divine magic within I was also in the midst of some of the deepest layers of healing and unraveling of ancestral trauma I’ve experienced. Bali brought up everything from my depths to be exposed, whether I was ready or not. The true essence of awakening.

This is the Katie who did the ground work and emotional labour for the lightness of being and freedom from suffering that I now know exists beyond the confines of my own limitations. Of course I still suffer, and experience heartbreak, and I’m riddled with anxieties, insecurities and of all kinds of complexities that most of you wouldn’t believe I think about myself if you heard my internal thoughts - I mean, I’m human (mostly ♒️). Those who know me well are aware of my Larry David-esque neurosis and “quirks” haha.

But what’s changed is that I no longer choose to drown and lose myself in these fears and programming. I spent countless nights in solitude in Bali... awake until all hours in my garden with my face buried in books, or my eyes staring at the stars learning about the cosmos and all the ancient secrets I’d forgotten I know, remembering who I really am - outside of cultural and family conditioning - and what I came here to embody and share with the collective. And still now, I spend countless nights in solitude studying my soul, the stars, collective shifts and the wisdom of the ages.

I offer myself on the altar of the divine - Portugal, November 2018

Moving to Portugal is the first time in my life I wasn’t running away from something, but instead, I was running towards it Facing myself in the mirror. Committed to being more vulnerable, no matter what confusion, triggers or silence I may face. And that acceptance changed everything. Choosing to keep my heart open and full of love even when I felt defeated. I still don’t have all the answers or the clarity I’d “expected”, and perhaps I never will... but my heart is so full. There’s no other way to live than with hope and faith in my heart, and a genuine excitement and curiosity for all that remains unknown as I surrender into the dance of divine timing.